Burdens We Carry
by Jarhead
Summary: Max and Logan get visits from people they weren't expecting. Set in between AJBAC and season two.


Burdens We Carry

Burdens We Carry

By: Jarhead

Spoilers:Entire first season

Rating:violence (this IS Dark Angel)

Author's notes:This is my attempt at a post-AJBAC fic.I tried to write something that likely would not conflict with the upcoming season, but would instead make an interesting gap-filler.

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Bling sat in the living room, looking out at the city from Logan's penthouse.He'd seen Logan pull up on Max's ninja.Since she ... died, left, nobody was entirely certain what happened to her, except Logan, and he wasn't telling.Since that night Logan had been using that bike to go out whenever sitting in the apartment got to be too much.

It worried the hell out of Bling.When Logan got on that bike it meant that there was only one place he was heading.The bike was part of the ritual; it had belonged to Max.When Logan came back each time, it meant that day he had decided that he didn't want to be street pizza at the base of the Space Needle.But it didn't mean he would decide that the next time.

The doorknob twisted and the door opened.The apartment's owner stepped in closing the door behind him.

Bling stood and looked over at him, "How was the view from the top of the world?"

"Fine."Logan hadn't stopped to greet him.He had simply headed for the computer room, his exoskeleton carrying him the whole way.

"You know, I remember when you used to be afraid of heights."Bling was talking at Logan's back.He moved to catch up."I also remember when you cared enough about life to not throw yours away needlessly."

Logan stopped.He did not turn around. 

"Every email you got while you were out had something to do with Manticore.Every search you're running, every snitch you're tracking down; they all lead back to Manticore.Every broadcast Eyes Only has made lately has been about them."

"They have to be stopped-"

"You're not trying to stop them!"Bling grabbed Logan and spun him around, forcing Logan to look him in the eye."You're not trying to stop Manticore.You're just trying to piss em' off enough for them to hunt you down and kill you."

"You don't understand-"

"Max told me about before man, about the pistol in your drawer.Maybe you won't end it, now.Maybe, in your little dicked-up mind, you can't just end it.No, that would be betraying Max.But getting them to pull the trigger for you isn't honoring her either, it's slapping her in the face!"

Bling released Logan.Logan looked broken, and murmured, "Maybe you're right."Then he turned and started walking for the computer room again.He stopped in the doorway, but didn't turn around."Maybe, but then Max isn't around to agree with you anymore."

He closed the door behind him.

*******

The heart monitor was still beeping.

It was a strong, steady beeping.

Max had no idea how long it had been since the peroxide bitch had left.The peroxide bitch had to be Renfro.If Renfro had told the truth, then Zack's heart was beating in Max's chest.

That was her fault.She had stupidly ignored Lydecker's warning: her Brothers and Sisters here at Manticore would kill her without a second thought.It had been her younger self that had shot her.Then left to go hunt the others.Logan had found her...

Oh God, Logan.Was he alive?Did he know that she was?Probably not.He was probably busy blaming himself for not getting her out.

Now Max wished she had taken the pistol from his desk.Or if she could have just never gone back there…

If she could have only stayed away from him, this wouldn't have happened.If she could have not gone back to that apartment, hell, if she could have just decided not to burglarize the place, none of this would be happening.Tinga would be at home with Case telling him a story.Zack would still be alive, keeping the others out of trouble.Logan wouldn't be a suicidal paraplegic.

_He's probably in more pain than I am, she thought.__It's my fault; I'm poison.If I haven't met him he'd be so much better-_

A nurse came in with an injection.Max's train of thought came to an abrupt end as the sedative kicked in.But a voice broke through the dark…

"Maaaaaaxxxxxxiiieeeeee.Maxie wake up."Max heard the sound of someone snapping their fingers at her.She slowly opened her eyes, realizing that she wasn't in a hospital room.She was lying down on a grassy area.It was in a familiar cemetery; Logan's Uncle Jonas was buried on top of the hill, next to his parents on the family plot.

Max heard quick mix of a snap, hiss, and a wind chime to her right and looked in that direction.She saw someone she thought she would never see again. 

"Ben?"

"Hey Maxie."

"Ben, but you're de-"

"Dead?Yes I am."

"But how-" her expression darkened, "Why?"

"Because you're going Jimmy Stewart on me."Max looked at him uncomprehendingly.Ben shook his head."You see, that's the problem with people today.No appreciation for the classics."

"Why are we here Ben?"Her tone was very demanding."Am I dreaming?"

"Do you know where we are?"He had a gleam in his eye, like he knew something that he wasn't telling her.

"Yeah, but I'm not really keen on visiting Uncle Jonas."

It was Ben's turn to look confused, "Who said we were visiting Uncle Jonas?"

"He's buried up on that hill."Ben snapped his fingers, followed by a snap, hiss and him disappearing in a flash of light.

Suddenly he was behind her, and spoke in her ear, "Oh really."He moved his head to speak in her other ear."You remember where Jonas was buried, don't you?You know, where the tombstone is?"

"Yeah.I can see it from here."

"Then use our patented X5 zoom vision, and tell me what name is carved into it."

Max was suddenly apprehensive, but she focused on the grave marker.What she saw made her legs give out.But Logan was alive-

"You see, sis," Ben had knelt beside her, "your wish has been granted.You never met Logan.That's why he's here.You see… you weren't there to pull him out of-" Ben snapped his fingers again.Max blinked and she was now standing in a hospital corridor that she was all too familiar with.

"-Here."Ben finished."You see, this time you decided not to knock off Logan's pad.You never met him.He still defended Lauren and her child.He still got shot, and ended up, well, you remember where."He turned his head expectantly; she followed his gaze.A room down the hall exploded with no warning, the door slamming into the wall followed by cascading flames.

"Gotta admire Bruno's dedication."Ben said this with quite a bit of glee, "The man didn't take any chances.I mean, using an anti-tank weapon on a crippled ICU patient.That's inspired."

Max's arm shot up, grabbing him by the jacket and slamming him into the wall."NONE of this would have happened if I had gone WITH him!"She let her grip loosen up, "If I had gone, I could have- none of this would have happened."

"You're right."Max's head snapped up to look at her brother.He quickly cupped both of his hands over her eyes.When he pulled them off, they were standing on a street corner in Seattle.It was morning –ish.

And unfolding before her eyes, this time from a much different angle, was the event that was truly responsible for changing her life.It was a sight that had been burned into her already photographic memory.However this time she watched herself get out of the car that had just been ambushed by Son' Riza's thugs.Then Logan got out of the car.

With mounting horror, she watched the seen unfold."Max" was busy with one of the thugs and didn't seem to notice one of the others take aim at her.Logan did, and moved into the path of the incoming bullet.Max watched them both hit the pavement.

Ben began ushering her over to the bodies.She noted a pool of blood forming underneath "Max's" head.When they were almost close enough to reach out and kick the bodies, Ben spoke, "Ironic in way.His only thought was to protect you.But his actions got you killed."

Ben's voice was stoic, and detached, "The bullet ricocheted on its way out of his back.One of his ribs deflected it straight into the back of your head."Ben stopped talking, apparently waiting for her. 

"But… He didn't… he couldn't have known me for more than a day and a half.Why-"

"Because he loves you.Men may have made that body you walk around in, but God gave you your soul, just as he gave Logan his soul.When he made Logan's, he etched a love for you into it, just like you carry a love for him."

"But-"

"But nothing Max!Either way we played this, he died.You didn't put Logan in a wheelchair.You made sure he could survive to make it into that chair.The very Son of God bore a heavy burden on earth.Like **Him**, we all have our own crosses to bear, our own burdens.That's just life.You are a daughter of Manticore.Logan is a paraplegic; his cross bears him."

Ben pulled his sister into a loose hug.He saw the tears when he pulled away.He only had one thing left… " Remember Max, **He** is not the author of evil, but he can ease the burden, if you will let him."

"Did the blue lady tell you that?"Her voice was laced with sarcasm.

"Would you believe, yes, she did?"He smiled, one she couldn't help but return."Remember, no burden is forever."

"Promise?"

"I ought to know…"

Max opened her eyes.She felt groggy, heavy, like she had been drugged.The heart monitor was quietly beeping in the background.She was back at Manticore.But she was much more at peace.Max could not identify why; she just knew that she would make it through this.She would make it back to Seattle, to Logan, to Jam Pony, to all of it.She just had to stay strong.She had to keep breathing.

Soon, even this burden would be lifted.

************

The door slid open.Logan turned ready to explode at Bling.But Bling wasn't at the door.Instead, Logan sat, suddenly bewildered, staring at a very angry Original Cindy."Hey Cindy-"

"Don't finish that sentence, Wheels.Don't go trying to make nicy-nice with Original Cindy.Bling spilled that you've been throwing one hell of a woe-is-me party.Original Cindy straight up promised my Boo that I wouldn't let you go all "It's a Wonderful Life" on everybody …"

_End._


End file.
